Back to work for a relaxing break

Kirstie is back!! Yay! Finally some life back in the office and someone to talk to and avoid work with! She’s been in Thailand for 2 weeks with her family so I haven’t seen her since before Christmas. It’s been so quiet in the office (actually a lot of people commented on that in relation to her absence…) and I’ve missed her and the banter, lewd comments, big unexpected belches and gawping at her extravagant on-line purchases. The latter part will all change now though as she has come over to the dark side, otherwise known as….staff. This has included a bit of a pay cut so she’s been griping about that already. I’m going to have to teach her how to budget and manage on a week’s worth of lunches for £3.40.

Whilst Kirstie has been on sunnier shores (and they were, I’ve seen the tan lines and her peeling breasts – don’t ask) I have been a mini-replacement Kirstie and asked a multitude of questions and queries, 78% of which I couldn’t answer. So in truth I’ve been a bit of a shit replacement, but I tried my best. I booked taxis, parking spaces and rooms and chased Moon Monkey into meetings. She has been missed by many and finally the Moon Man knows where he’s meant to be and when.

Her holiday by all accounts doesn’t sound like the best on record. Kirstie was meant to be back in work yesterday originally but she called me in the morning to say she wouldn’t be making it in due to the injuries her husband sustained on holiday.

“Were they drinking related injuries?”

“Sigh. Yes they were. And he’s very badly sunburnt – I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. ”

Oh dear.

I was regaled with the full story this morning. Kirstie’s hubby managed to hurl himself down a flight of steps in a drunken stupor on the 2^nd night out of a 2 week holiday. They took him to hospital where he discovered he had broken his arm up near the elbow. He’d also smashed his face up and had 2 massive gouges taken out of his legs (by the stairs not by the hospital…) Good start to the holiday. Then in the second week they both managed to burn themselves on a day that was overcast and they didn’t put on any sunscreen. Slow hand clap for the Australian and lack of sun tan lotion application. Then the day after that they went on a boat trip and hubby decided to do the same again with no top on.

So yesterday for Kirstie was spent in A&E with a doctor raising his eyebrows as he prescribed some pain killers and saying “you do know there is stuff you can buy to prevent sun burn don’t you?” Got to love that medical humour. Also turns out he has celulitis (spelling?!?) which is the infection of the scars on his legs.

Today hubby was left at home with a scarred face, broken arm, blistering 1^st degree burns and pussing legs. And who says holidays aren’t good for you?

As well as the physical injuries sustained there was also some falling out amongst the family. Kirstie’s brother had a mental breakdown and had to be sent home half way through the holiday and then something else happened (she hasn’t elaborated on what as yet) which meant that her sister stopped talking to her on the 2^nd day of the holiday and is still not talking to her.

“Well at least your Mum enjoyed herself right?”

Nope, Ma was too stressed and worried about the son and the son in law crippling himself after one too many beers and the squabbling sisters.

“Ah….”

In Kirstie’s words it was in some parts an amazing holiday (oh I forgot to mention there were a lot of very cool things they did too and the sister bashing meant that her and hubby actually got to go off and do what they wanted to) and some parts a horrendous holiday from hell. She looks far from relaxed, put it that way. And she actually is glad to be back in this place which is also very worrying. Perhaps that’s what coming over to the dark side does to you?