Jesus look at the time, its 5pm already. And I’ve achieved nothing today, absolutely jack. Well, if you count a 1 page guide to requisitions, attending 2 meetings, finalising the department Christmas party and struggling with writing my appraisal nothing. Actually that sounds like a lot but it really doesn’t feel like it. Especially as the past 2 hours have been on the latter, me sat here with my brain dribbling out of my ears as I try to hash together words to describe how utterly amazing I am in my job. Why do I care so much anyway? It’s not like Harley is going to read any of it!
But to business. I left you on Friday with the tantalising news that Temp has now moved on, gone away, bye bye, so long, she’s off, toodleoo, cheerio, don’t come back and ta ta. And in a hurry as well, here one minute annoying the shit out of me with her repetitive cries of “IT’S SNOWING AGAIN!” and “are you ok? You look suicidal?” and the next running out the door like a possum after a ripped bin liner! I’m just trying to remember on which day this actually happened, I think it may have been Wednesday (last week is a bit of a blur – the cold and flu drugs didn’t help matters either) – so Thursday and Friday were blissful and today…well it’s like she was never here.
As you may have noticed there has was some snow last week in the
So Wednesday.
I was sat doing my best to ignore her for most of the morning and she had been fart-arsing around with some of the girls from Accounts, going round taking photo’s of everyone dressed in red (for World Aids/HIV Day) so I was luckily spared the shrieking and incessant chatter. Ginger did point out that she was actually slacking off for a good portion of the day but to be honest if she wasn’t sat next to me I just didn’t care. So at lunch time she takes a call on her mobile in hushed tones and scurries off to a meeting room somewhere. When she returns I carry on doing my best to ignore her and she scurries off once more in the direction of HR. At this stage I have minimum interest other than the fact she is NOT HERE.
Ten minutes later and she’s back, huffing and puffing and doing her best to get me to ask her what is wrong but I’m not giving in. Stay strong
“Nancy….Nancy…..
Yes?
She spills the news. Turns out that was a call from another agency who have a job for her that is temping but indefinite and more money and also in the area she used to work in. What should she do?! She’s told HR the situation, she’d have to let them know by lunch time and it starts tomorrow. Oh the trauma!
“So what are you waiting for? Take the job”
Oh but it’s not that simple, you see Temp is deluded enough to think that she might be needed (or wanted) here beyond Christmas and if that is the case then she’d rather stay on. WTF? This job is practically permanent, in an area you have experience in and better paid and you want to stay because?
“You know, I really like it here and I don’t want to leave so if I can stay I will.”
Shit, shit, shit. She’s got to go, it’s our big chance. Get her out. She tells me that HR are emailing Harley to see what he says so she is waiting on hearing back from them. I’m not sure if the waiting is worse for her or me. Me, yes it is definitely me as I have to listen to this:
“Oh god I wish Harley would call me or email me, I really don’t know what to do, this is so hard, what would you do? Would you stay? I really don’t want to go but if it’s long term maybe I should, oh this waiting is awful (it’s been about 15 minutes), I can’t concentrate on anything, I’m so worried, I feel like crying, I know I’ve only been here a few months but I would really miss it and everyone, oh why doesn’t he email me, do you think he will email me or HR?”
Eventually I crack and tell her to email Harley. I insist she does, she should do it, really. Please. So that keeps her busy for at least 10 minutes. Then I have to listen to her read out the email (well I say listen, I watch her mouth open and close and nod as I pretend to) and tell her to send it. Thank fuck this does the trick and Harley calls her within 5 minutes. I hold my breath.
“He’s advised me to take the job. I think I’m, going to do that. But I feel so bad leaving you guys in the lurch (yeah because you have been such an asset to the team, wow how will we replace the gaping hole you leave behind?) so I think I am going to suggest I work weekends to finish off what I have left to do.”
Er? Why? I think between us we can handle some archiving and follow up the letters you have sent out. Jesus, she’s acting like she’s leaving some long legacy behind her and it’ll take months to hand over. As she scurries off to call the agency I hastily email Gunner who is working abroad that week:
From: Nancy Clueless
Sent: 01 December 2010 13:32
To: Gunner
Subject: Amazing News
Alright globe trotter.
You probably already heard from Harley that Temp has a new job that starts tomorrow. I for one am over the moon. She has been killing me all day with her fretting and whining about what to do and waiting on Harley to let her know. I really am going to lamp her as a leaving present.
Anyway she has suggested to Harley that she works some weekends to finish off the archiving which Ginger and I think is feckin’ ridiculous. Harley is going to ask you about it – so heads up for that. I’ll tell her to finish as much as she can today (she’s done bugger all this morning apart from wander about with people taking photo’s for World Aids Day) and we can get it sorted between the rest of us?
What do you think?
From: Gunner
Sent: 01 December 2010 13:37
To: Nancy Clueless
Subject: RE: Amazing News
Hello
I thought you'd be pleased.
I just finished a call with Harley and saw an e-mail from HR about this.
I told her she can fek off (Harley left it up to me).
Get Temp to show Ms Rigsby where she's up to on the archiving as she's pretty much up to date on the post & stuff, and she's not dumb so she can finish it off as & when. I only got Temp to do it so she could lock herself in the meeting room away from us.
I'll e-mail her if you want or do you want the pleasure of telling her to show Rigsby & then get lost?
Cheers Gunner
Phew, so no likelihood of her popping up again at any point. We’re covered, thank the lord.
Oh my god, she is actually going, I can’t believe it!! I am trying to suppress my joy but it is hard, thank god Kirstie is snowed in at home or I might not be able to contain myself. I am of course emailing her with constant updates.
So now begins the whole elaborate process of Temp showing Ms Rigsby what she needs to do. This actually takes about 7 minutes and Rigsby looks more than comfortable with it all. Well it’s not fucking rocket science is it? The rest of her afternoon is spent going round and telling various people the sad news she is leaving so abruptly, I think she is partially wounded and surprised by their lack of interest/sympathy. In fact since she has gone only one person has asked me where she is and that was the post room guy as he needed to give her a parcel. Seriously, she’s acting like a lifer, like we should have organised a going away party, gold watch and big ridiculous card signed by all and sundry. JUST HURRY UP AND LEAVE!
Finally her coat is on and she’s jotting down her email address and mobile number for me as I have told her I’ll see what I can do about getting her along to the department Xmas bash still (this isn’t going to happen but I thought I’d look like I’d make an effort) “well I was going to leave it with you anyway as I thought you know we’d be mates?” At this point I openly laugh in her face. “Er you don’t have to laugh about it” “Sorry, it was er, just the way you said it…” And on that note she is gone.
Wait, listen to that. Can you hear it?
That’s right it’s the sound of no Temp. It’s the sound of joy. It’s flippin’ music to my ears is what it is. Excuse me while I bask.
One freak down, several more to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment