Can….not….compute….

My brain is threatening to explode all over my computer monitor, desk and fellow colleagues. The new database finally went live yesterday and today we got our passwords. It has not been a carefree and easy day, there have been issues and shouting and swearing and hissy fits and quite harangued members of IT trying to hide in dark places so we don’t hunt them down.

Firstly no one knows what they are doing. I am a prime example of this. My 2 ½ days training way back when have been forgotten (although all I did was listen to that northern wanker moan and whine and bitch for the entire time), the refresher course was baffling and now I am faced with a new screen of information I have no idea what to do with. Harley is busy allocating requisitions to people so I have three sat in my ‘inbox’. So I click on one but there is no vendor information in it. Eh? No name, address, contact details. Gunner informs me that they should have checked the vendor list on the database (which has nothing to do with me as we know that my database is now defunct) and if they weren’t there they should have completed a New Supplier Form. Thing is people don’t realise this is what they have to do because no one has told them. Huzzah.

So what now Gunner? Well you need to tell Harley to tell them to fill out a New Supplier Form, then they send that to the help desk who send it on to finance who put a code on it and send it back to Gunner. Then he puts the information on the system and THEN I can go ahead and use the requisition to make a PO.

You following me so far?

So that could take days? Weeks? Months even? Quite possibly. So Harley is freaking out because suddenly he has ‘responsibility’ and ‘work’ to do, all these requisitions piling up in his inbox, if they don’t get sorted he gets shouted at. He thinks I should draft up a PO anyway and save it on the new system (the new other system – oh yes there is more than one). But I can’t because I don’t have a PO number (I have 2 other numbers which are apparently requisition numbers – and the need for 2 is why? – but not a PO number which is an entirely different matter….apparently) I also can’t create the PO on this database which will in turn create a folder on the other system which I could put any documents into. Hmmmm, well save it on the old system and then move it on to the new system when you can? Er no. Why? Because that will make it even more monumentally fucking complicated that it already is!!! He insists so I say ok and when he walks off me and Gunner agree not to do anything.

But hang on says Moody, I created a PO this morning without any vendor information why can’t you? Good point, lets try. But wait I don’t have the same options as you on my screen, where is the PO button…..?? What’s that? I’m not set up to have the right access rights to do this? And I have to email the help desk who will open up a new call and then think about giving me access rights but might have to ask Harley for permission to do this and then……

………head explodes over computer monitor, desk and fellow colleagues.

So now I am sat here, unable to do anything. Ah the joy of new technology. Don’t worry I won’t lose any sleep over it tonight.