Crack open the Magners

Slow day today as I ran out of things to do at about 11.30am and have been trying to invent things jobs ever since. Still stuck at my desk next to the shrill, gacking freak but fingers crossed it won’t be for much longer. Kristie has cleared all her stuff off the new one and it’s now sat empty and inviting just waiting for the lazy buggers in IT to pull their fingers out. I must admit my heart sank a little when I walked in this morning and saw my computer still on my desk but everything comes to those who wait.

I also had another piece of good news this morning which has made this possibly the best work week in a long time. CJ isn’t coming to the residential training course in Devon! Hurrah! Double celebrations! She has clashing training schedules and the other takes precedence over this so she’s been told she can’t go. Apparently she is gutted, whereas me and Ginger are over the moon! You know at this rate I’ll be on my way to a totally CJ-free existence. Hmmmm, well maybe not (I don’t think I could ever be that lucky) but at least my doctor can stop worrying about my blood pressure now.

So what to do for the rest of the day? I already have my i-pod on so that’s one distraction (plus it blocks out some of the CJ so always a bonus) and I’m thinking about an extended lunch break, maybe down the pub. It’s Gunner’s birthday so I’m sure he’d be up for a pint at work. As ever I have the interweb at my disposal so I can check out the BBC news and then after 4 minutes of that move on to some more intellectual sites such as Faceache and I Can Has Cheezeburger. Oh heck, who am I kidding? I was on those at 8.45am while chowing on my muesli!

Then there is the task of sorting through all my junk in my draws (easy) and cupboard for when I move desks. My cupboard seems to have become a mini larder and holds mainly shoes, clothes and food. There’s even a bottle of cider in there (for when things get REALLY bad). I’ve just had a look and I have the following:

A box of tissues
A pair of gloves and a scarf
2 pairs of shoes
1 big jumper
2 empty water bottles
Files with random papers in them
A St John’s Ambulance pack
2 tins of Heinz soup
A half eaten pack of Cadbury’s Crunchie biscuits (new discovery – yum!)
¼ pack of crackers
4 mini packs of raisins
½ pack of rice crackers
100 plastic carrier bags (well it seems like it)
Can opener
2 bread rolls (going stale)
A bottle of Magners
6 old note books
A large bandage

So clearly a lot of things in my cupboard are very important work related documents. I think things people keep in their desks can say a lot about them and also the way they keep them. I mean if you were to open Andre’s cupboard (which I have had to do on the odd occasion – its ok I wore gloves) then you’ll find all of those files and documents you’d been looking for for months piled up and shoved in so that they spill on to the floor as the door opens. She also has a gnome, 5 million packets of crisps and lots of food ointments and remedies. Its chaos, bit like her work ethic really. “What’s that Andre? You fucked that order up again?” You only have to look at her arse to see where the crisps went.

Moody’s cupboard has lots of papers but these are a little more organised into piles. Only he knows what piles these contain and it always astounds me that he can pick a bit of paper out of these when you ask for it. “Hmmm, yes that would be in the 3rd pile to the right, 12 documents down”. There’s a bottle of flavoured water he got free a while back in there but that’s it. Moody’s a slave to his work it seems.

CJ’s cupboard is normally locked so I have no idea what’s in there. It’s a bit like her handbag she clutches as she runs around the office – no one will ever know what lies within. It’s a great mystery of the department and one day we shall tell our grandchildren tales of the handbag and what secrets could lay locked inside….. Next time she’s off I’ll try and break into it by getting the spare keys off Ginger and let you know what I find. I’m sure we’ll be disappointed though.

Gunner’s cupboard mainly holds boxes of cereals as he’s on this cereal diet thing. You know when you have one bowl for breakfast and lunch? Doesn’t quite work for him though as he ends up getting hungry later and grabbing a sandwich anyway. Flavours of the month currently are Cheerio’s, Rice Crispies and Weetabix. As I type this I can hear his spoon clinking in his cereal bowl, bless. We should have put a candle in his Coco Pops (careful).

Well I think I have bored you with the contents of people’s cupboards enough for one day. Tomorrow – pen tidies and their cultural links.