Words can not describe

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY EVER! CELEBRATION TIME! WHOOOO! I’M DOING A LITTLE JIG AS I TYPE!

Guess what? Go on – guess! I bet you can’t, I bet you can’t guess why I am so hip, hip, happy on this lovely Wednesday! I’ll give you a clue, it’s got something to do with CJ……no, they’re not firing her lazy arse, it’s not THAT good (on that day there won’t be a blog as I will be down the pub celebrating) but it’s close to it.

I am moving desks!

I finally had enough yesterday, I was on the edge of a breakdown and rocking in my chair as her shrill voice bore into the side of my skull and bounced around my brain. I’m sure I’ve developed a nervous twitch that is triggered by her picking up the phone. So I decided something finally had to be done. I had 3 options – the first was to kill her, the second to leave the company and the third to move desks. The first two ideas had some complications such as a lengthy jail term, not being allowed into America ever again and being unemployed so I decided to go with the third, and today I had my meeting with Harley.

I wasn’t sure how to word what I had to say without just going into some tirade and listing off what she does to irritate the fuck out of me so I tread carefully. I started it all by saying “Well, it’s a bit of an awkward situation really…” and then “I don’t want to start naming names but…” just to ensure Harley knew I was going about this in a professional manner (yes, I can do that you know). As soon as I mentioned distractions at my desk, loud and lengthy phone calls and intrusions in my personal work space he cottoned on immediately and started nodding sympathetically. I made sure he knew how far my sanity had been frayed through a few distressed looks and how long I had put up with it all as well. This plan can’t fail, I have to move….

“Well I think it’s just over exuberance on her part…” says Harley. Er are you actually saying that she’s just a little bit over excited EVERY day at work? Are you trying to defend her rudeness? Maybe I am losing him here, quick Nancy, pull it back. “Oh of course, this is nothing personal; I just find that it’s stressing me out a lot”. Again with the sympathetic nodding, so what does he want me to do?

“I want to move desks”.

He looks perplexed, how’s he going to manage this one? “How do you think we should approach this then?” I assure him I don’t want to make a fuss so how about moving me next to Gunner, Ginger and Kirstie so I’m with the rest of the team (I am actually a part of but don’t sit with) and using that as an excuse? Harley agrees this could work and to be honest I think he’s just relieved he didn’t have to come up with an idea himself. “Yes I’ll instigate that straight away.”

You will? You promise?! No shitting me around? What’s this? You’re already walking me over to my new desk and taking a note of the number so you can get my computer moved? Kirstie is clearing space, emptying cabinets and making room for me? It’s happening, it’s actually happening!!

I can not begin to describe to you the sense of relief at this point, my day has suddenly got a lot sunnier and a big grin is forming on my face.

Harley comes over 10 minutes later and does his part “hey guys, just to let you know I’m moving Nancy over to this side to be with the rest of the team, it makes sense seeing as you all work on similar projects – ok?” Of course they’re ok they’ve known about this plan for ages! 10 out of 10 for the acting skills Harley, you had everyone convinced.

So far not a word from CJ which leads me to think she either hasn’t been listening or because she thinks this doesn’t involve her she isn’t bothering to take any notice. Although it could be that she has realised the real reason for my move and is deeply embarrassed by it all and so staying schtum. Naaahhh, that would require some kind of awareness of what’s going on outside her own existence and also some level of tact, neither of which she has.

So the countdown begins to a freak-neighbour free work space! I am going to miss Andre though, I might come back and visit her and her gnome some time.