Plan B: Resort to violence

I wanted to blog yesterday but I was unable to because of Moody. Every time I tried to find a moment in my day to put finger to keyboard he would pop up again sprouting some guff about something or the other I have no interest in whatsoever. “Look how much they want to charge for this!” Who cares, just do the order already. “Can you look up this website?” You mean that website you have been on to and printed off information from? Why is it now deemed necessary for me to look it up again and why don’t you do it yourself rather than printing it off to bring round to me to do it? What’s that? Oh you think I actually take an interest in this shit? Sorry to disappoint but you are WRONG.

I was in a good mood today, well I was in an OK mood and not particularly pissed off about anything. Now I’m in a bad mood because Kirstie keeps accusing me of being in a bad mood when I’m not. OK so I am NOW but before when she was saying I was I wasn’t. If you follow me. This is because I have apparently got some kind of ‘moody face’ on me today. I think she may have mistook concentration for moody. Just to clear up any confusion that may arise from this she meant my ‘moody face’ as in the emotion not the person. Anyways all day I have had comments – “oh you’re not in a happy place today are you?”, “what’s up with you?”, “You’re very quiet” and on it goes. At first I was defending myself, trying to convince her of my non-bad mood, even trying to join in banter and force some joke or the other, then I remembered I don’t care what these people think and stopped bothering and started shrugging and then I eventually fell into a bad mood and no longer need to defend myself. Ironically she’s not saying anything now.

I normally wouldn’t mind so much as I can be a bit gobby and so being quiet would probably come across as unusual in my day to day workplace behaviour but after the shitty mood Kirstie was in yesterday I feel she is no place to judge.

In her defence she wasn’t having the best day, all that training malarkey was going tits up and she wasn’t feeling well but the whinging was getting to monumental levels that would soon create some kind of self destructing tornado of catalytic proportions or I would have lent over and smacked her full on in the face. The spoon was out and primed and it was more than a relief when she went home sick at lunch time. That was after an entire morning of sighs, whines, bitching, fretting and constantly going on about how ill she felt. I suggested she go home if she didn’t feel well and was met with a look that said “how can I when I have all this work to do and the world might explode if I don’t do it right now?!” But she carried on complaining…


Kirstie: Oh god I feel so sick
Me: You should go home
Kirstie: Oh I can’t I have too much to do
Me: But if you feel rough you should go, look after yourself
Kirstie: Well maybe later but I need to wipe Moon Monkey’s bottom first

10 minutes later:

Kirstie: Oh god I feel so sick
Me: You should go home
Kirstie: Oh I can’t I have too much to do
Me: But if you feel rough you should go, look after yourself
Kirstie: But the world may end if I’m not here whinging all day

10 minutes later:

Kirstie: Oh god I feel so sick
Me: You should go home
Kirstie: Oh I can’t I have too much to do
Me: Fine but shut the fuck up saying you are ill then. You can go home, we don’t work for a fascist sweat shop company that will make you work with broken limbs and bleeding eyeballs so no one is going to force you to stay, you are only staying to be a fucking martyr and think that this department will fall apart if you are gone for 1 afternoon. Nothing you do can be THAT important and I am sure it will wait until the morning or possibly..gasp…the day after and you can deal with it then when you are feeling better. You don’t get paid enough to put your health over your job or to frankly give this much of a shit about it anyway.

After I went to cook my jacket potato for lunch she had gone home.

OK so I may have not said ALL of the above but I think my exasperation at her finally showed through and she got the hint. She’s back in today and feeling a lot better and the world didn’t end while she was gone. My afternoon was also greatly improved and I had a nice peaceful time until Moody showed up with his inane mutterings about websites. I am thwarted at every turn dear readers! Why won’t they leave me alone?!

Apparently this morning something was being discussed in the office with MM and at one point CJ stood up and said “Well you don’t care anyway as you’re going off to the Air Show!” I’m not sure in what context this was used but she was alluding to the fact that MM has to go to some meeting at an air show to look at planes for something or the other. Anyway it came across very patronisingly and well, rude. Kirstie was sat here fuming as MM will now think she is discussing his diary with everyone and Bog Monkey told Kirstie later that MM’s face was like thunder after CJ stood up and shot her mouth off. I think it may have been CJ’s attempt at humour but she has failed miserably and has already had a telling off from Kirstie and there has been some whispering between the great leader and his whinging sidekick about it as well so she’s probably in for a bollocking.

HA HA!

Ginger was just leaving for the day and Kirstie said something about me which I didn’t hear (because I was engrossed in this blog) so I got another comment about being moody and I’m afraid to say I snapped. There is only so much one can take you know, I have the patience of a saint and it is often pushed to it’s limits here. Now she’s just winding me up because she knows I will bite so my next step is going to be total blanking of anything she says and if that doesn’t work I will resort to violence.

I’ll let you know how it goes.