O fair lady if you’ll be so kind

The Face Book stalker has returned. I thought I’d seen the last of him with the “I should have come to my senses a long time ago” message. Let me refresh your memory…

“This song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BioGt4BY-fI&feature=related can express some of the things I wanted to say. However, it is a rather sad song and it might upset you. Beg a pardon for giving you nothing but trouble. Now, I just want to go get a job and get a life.& Thanks, for you have been kind to me in some ways :) so wish you well.”

He wished me well, he fecked off, I slept a little more soundly at night and I was hoping he’d go off and find a nice gal his age and live happily ever after (possibly secretly mourning me in those quiet reflective moments). Then there were a few months of silence and today he sent me a lovely (creepy) poem. I do wonder if he has been spending the 2 months writing this:

‘Love Shyness ss da phrase’

O fair lady if you’ll be so kind
To hear my poem composed to thy
For a tale I am about to describe
Relates to one who’s been stuck in my mind
‘But why do I still memorize?’
‘To keep a doomed wish high?’
Before you ask me ‘Why?’
Let’s turn time back for a while
N’ hear da story from my side: ** ver.2
“I once have some courage
Performed some failed magic
Yet the rewarded was wicked
Cos a blushed face looks fantastic”
So I know it in my heart
And believed in my eyes
She’s a Natural Beauty in Disguise
Now time has fly
Promise could turn into lies
‘Is my hope going to die?’
If so, I’ll be sad and ‘sigh’
Lovesick is a bad sign
Feels like night without stars that shines
Sometimes it makes you cry
Or like me I’ll go and hide
Soon I’ll get sick
But I was never tire
So I tried by and by
But no matter how I tried
The times I’m getting denied
Which makes me even wondered
‘For the reason that I am a guy?’
‘Or age the otherwise?’
They say love is blinded
They say life is complicated
Makes me so frustrated
But no matter what people will say
I just hope dinner is not too late (and Okay)
For I’ve longed for that day
When you and I could date
But to ask you through this way
I know I am still not brave
Don’t know why am I afraid
Even though Jaques say
“All the world's a stage”
Life could merely be a play
If one day I get lucky
You’re willing to take a ride
Give me chance to turn the tide
I will still need some aid
For I am not wise
I miss good opportunities because
I don’t realize
If I missed another chance
I shall go and eat a huge pie
Then go and drink some wine
Forget my belly size
Take a random drive
A brain surgeon I must find
To check the way I am designed
To find out why am I so shy

** ver.2“A mind’s so cunning? Without me knowing
The eyes are dazzling, is what I am dreaming
A face that’s good looking, I can’t help but watching
A smiles that’s bewitching, that’s why I am liking
Her presence is stunning, so I’ll keep on trying”

I particularly like the line “If I missed another chance, I shall go and eat a huge pie” and I’m not sure if being a ‘Natural Beauty in Disguise’ is an insult or compliment. And what about ‘If one day I get lucky, You’re willing to take a ride”? Cheek!

Anyway as hilarious as this is and no one has ever written a poem for me before (yes, yes you may pity me now) it is also incredibly weird and creepy. I mean he told me he was going to go and get a life but clearly he hasn’t, he’s been hauled up in his bedroom with a bunch of poetry books and Jay-Z’s albums scribbling away, thinking I am going to fall at his feet at this ‘romantic’ gesture.

I’m starting to think I need to watch my back again and maybe keep one of the kitchen knives on my bedside table…

So I’ve broken my vow of silence and I have replied this time saying “Please stop emailing me”. I hope he gets the hint, it’ll either stop him or push him over the edge and I’ll be bombarded with more messages I reckon. We shall see. In the meantime I may invest in some mace.