Sir I can clearly see your nuts….

I know I go on about it a bit but everyone here is completely nuts. I think some clinically so. I’m getting more and more concerned about Moody as well as he’s definitely on the edge of some kind of mental breakdown. Every time I go over to see him he sits muttering to himself about whatever I have asked him, then claims to have an email from someone about it, then spends 10 minutes trying to find the email and can’t. Then he finds a print out of it right in front of him but it still wasn’t what he expected it to say. Then half an hour later he’ll come over to me and say “you were right, it wasn’t what I was thinking…..”

He’s said “I’m not having a good day” 5 times to me so far but has yet to tell me why.

It can be entertaining working with completely nuts people but it can also be very frustrating. Take the incident above for example. I had 4 contracts to work on this morning, hurrah – work to do, and now have none as Moody has had to take them off me to “look at them”. Not because I’ve done something wrong on them, I haven’t even had a chance to get started on them to do that yet, it’s because he needs to scrutinise everything about them, go through his 3 billion pieces of paper on his desk to find that one email about them (he likes to do his bit towards destroying the rainforest) which tells me nothing useful and has an attachment I already had. This whole process can take up to 20 minutes during which I am mainly stood next to his desk inspecting my nails or thinking about my plans for the weekend or raising my eyes to the ceiling at Kirstie across the partition. All the while Moody is muttering away and cursing to himself.

Losing. It. Big time.

I was bitching about this over email to a friend and he asked me if there were any other sane people in the office aside from myself (well relatively sane then)? Just as I was reading his email I hear Kirstie singing the little circus song, you know “di di diddy diddy di di di di….” And you can picture the clowns circling the big top on tiny tricycles and threatening each other with custard pies. I turn to see her trying to balance a small ball on her nose like a seal. She’s not successful so she tries to stick it there with some blue tac……then an elastic band. When bored of this she starts to throw the ball at her keyboard to see if she can type with it. She was going to be my one saving grace, the person I mention in my reply to my friends email about the other ‘sane’ people I work with. What do I do now? I am lost at sea with the cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

What if it’s catching?! I mean I don’t remember Moody or Kirstie being this weird when I started; it seems to have developed over time. Definitely with Moody, there’s always been the talking to himself but now there seems to be full on conversations and debates going on. That could be me in a years time, I’m sure there’s a jacket with arms that tie round the back and a tub of little green pills waiting for me with my yearly review.

Well so be it. If you can’t beat them (and you can’t, I’ve tried with various implements and anyway I’ve been told it’s illegal to hit your work colleagues even if they are 2 sandwiches, a packet of hula hoops and an Umbungo short of a picnic) join them as they say. I’ll start taking requests for demonstrations of circus skills….roll up, roll up.