You’re goin’ home…

Have I had a rant about the football yet? Don’t think so. Well here we go then…

We have had an email round at work from the head honcho’s PA saying that “those interested can take some time out to watch the game.” By ‘game’ they of course mean the England v Slovenia (I just had to look up who they are playing – for those who are interested I also saw that South Africa are beating France 2-0 at half time, Saffa will be pleased) World Cup football match that’s being played tomorrow at 3pm. Personally I have tomorrow booked off work anyway as I’m off in the depths of a Berkshire forest and no where near a TV but if I wasn’t do you think they would let me leave just before 3pm to sod off and do something else?

“You coming to watch the football Nancy?”

“No I’m going home to watch the tennis.”

“Oh well, I’m not sure you can leave early if you’re going to watch the tennis….”

I’m not a total grouch, I get that this only happens once every 4 years and that the country for some reason gets all patriotic for about 3 weeks (well that seems to be the average time England spend in the World Cup), waving flags, piling out of pubs shouting “come on England!” and “Roooooooney!” – It’s so heart-warming it brings a tear to my eye. But why does it warrant an afternoon off of work? Now you know me, I’m always up for any time spent away from the office but why football? How come no one has emailed round saying we can have some time off when Murray is playing at Wimbledon? I never saw anyone asking to be excused to watch the rugby World Cup either and surely we have a better chance of winning that?!

What about the other half of the population that doesn’t want to go down a pub and be rammed into a corner by sweaty bodies, spilling beer on your head and chanting incomprehensible shat about Posh and Becks and all you can see is the back of the person in front of you head? Perhaps catching a glimpse of a tackle (easy) or throw in on the plasma screen the other end of the room. Sounds wonderful, count me in and why don’t you chuck in a fight at the end of it all when we lose and people can’t live with the fact the other team kicked more balls into the net than we did.

It’s just a game. * ducks to avoid swinging punches *

Gunner is of course wetting his pants over the World Cup in general and the game tomorrow. Even before the email he was planning on heading off to catch the game at home or down the local here. He’s been waiting for this email all week – “they’re not going to expect anyone to be here Wednesday afternoon are they?” Er well maybe seeing as it is a working day and er people have work to do? Christ, bet you thought you’d never hear me say that! It’s just the assumption that everyone will want to watch the game which annoys me. I find you get that with football fans, they can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t like football. Let me count the ways….

So I’ve of course been in on the email sent round by Gunner soon after the one from the head honcho asking if I’d be joining him down the pub tomorrow afternoon. I had to let him down gently.

“No, I’ve actually got the day off tomorrow”

“Oh good planning!”

“I’m not going to be anywhere near a TV though, I’ll be in a forest in Bracknell.”

Silence. Look of utter disbelief.

You’d think he’d have given up on me by now with my complete lack of interest. Maybe he sees me as a bit of a challenge. I tell you what, I’ll promise him that I will come and watch England play in this world cup if we reach the final. I should be on to a safe bet there! Now you watch that one backfire in my face.