Celebratory guitar solo

Just went for a Starbucks with Kirstie as we’re both bored out of our tiny minds (me with nothing to do and her bored of having too much to do) and needed to get out for a bit. We were sat chatting over lattes and she said “if you think about it, it’s an odd little bunch of people we work with over there.” It was a completely innocent statement but immediately my mind swung to this blog and a small pang of terror shot through me. Has she been reading it? Is she trying to catch me out? I’m sure I looked like a startled rabbit in the headlights for a moment as my coffee cup stopped half way to my lips.

But after this very brief moment of doubt I realised that she was actually just stating the obvious. “Yes we do don’t we?” And phew, I’ve gotten away with it, it’s ok the blog’s still safe.

But sitting here now I am starting to realise how paranoid this blog is making me at work, what with the request for a photo of my desk (panic over on that one, I found out who the originator was and we’re not in danger of being infiltrated by undercover corporate spies) and small innocuous comments and conversations that could lend themselves towards it. The pressures getting to me people, if anyone at work stumbled across this I’d be for the high jump. Of course they could never pin anything on me guv but I’d imagine it would make things quite uncomfortable round here.

Don’t worry; I’m not going to stop blogging. I am forever faithful to my 2 fans and let’s face it; no other bugger is reading this so it’s unlikely anyone from work is going to stumble across it. Famous last words.

But enough of my insecurities, back to the news from Azkaban….don’t get too excited, it’s not that interesting today…..

The office is incredibly quiet again. Kirstie and I were trying to figure out why this is as none of the people working here are young enough to have childer on school holidays and actually most of the office is in, there’s just a lack of hubbub. We’ve tried to come up with some ideas of how to combat this but most of them end up with the possibility of us being escorted off the premises. Well that’s one way to get a half day I guess.

Yesterday CJ came in late (10.30am – “ugh my darling car parking space was blocked…” I’ve noticed how she substitutes with the word ‘darling’ where most of us would use ‘fucking’ or some other normal swear that would actually sound less offensive and annoying) and then proceeded to sit on the phone for an hour and a half with the same client. The phone sits right next to my desk so she leans in towards me practically siting on my desk and talking very loudly. I was close to murder or at least some serious maiming when she’d finished. During this call Kirstie actually went and complained to Harley about how people should take conference calls in one of the meeting rooms. She mentioned no names but Harley asked if she meant CJ and she said yes. So as soon as she was off the phone he pulled her into a meeting to tell her to shut the hell up. She came back out later and asked me if I minded her taking calls at her desk. Ha ha. I told her I did mind as it could be very intrusive and makes it hard for me to focus when she’s talking that long on the phone (focus? On what Nancy, your FB account?!) For once she actually shut up and had nothing to say to me. I’m sure she thinks it was me who made the complaint now – am I bovvered?

For the rest of the day and most of today she has been in the meeting room on the phone.

Mark one up for the normals.

Today her mobile went off with the Guns and Roses tune. Not unusual. However today the volume seemed to be set at ear bleeding level and it was sat right near me so it made me jump like an idiot and exclaim some swears (not ‘darling’). CJ was utterly mortified she’d forgot to take it off the OAP/Hard of Hearing setting and scrambled to grab and answer it, knocking it about her desk as she did “Oh god, sorry, sorry…” Kirstie couldn’t contain herself and burst out laughing which in turn set me off then Gunner then Moody. At this point she is stood up, on the phone, looking over the partition at all these laughing people and going beetroot.

It must have been like one of those dreams when you walk into work and realise you forgot to put any clothes on that morning (or is that just me?). The laughing got too much and she ran off into a meeting room to take the call.

Mark two up for the normals.
So that has helped to abate some of the violent thoughts running through my head involving a heavy hole punch and CJ’s head… for now. Listening to some Idlewild on the headphones is also assisting in blocking out the various noises and sighs quite effectively. In the long term I am currently working on a plan that will eventually result in me being moved desks and away from this woman. I realise that this could mean the CJ rants start to subside but I do have my sanity to consider people.