Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Injuries and Absences

The bowling night is fast approaching, one more sleep until we strike out! The teams are picked, the trophy and wooden spoon have been purchased, and the menu’s distributed. All is prepared.

However it’s all going a bit tits up when it comes to the attendees. It even looks as though Kirstie and my evil plan will be thwarted at the first stage. Plus no Andre and maybe no CJ…..It’s all falling apart.

Kirstie picked the teams yesterday, she did the honest thing and put all our names on individual pieces of paper, balled them all up, stuck them in a paper cup, shook them up and then picked them out into 3 teams of 5. The team I ended up on consisted of:

Me
The wee Scottish guy who sits next to Andre
Ginger
Moon Monkey (you’re fucking kidding me right?)
CJ (oh yes)

Needless to say I wasn’t that impressed with the 1st selection. Kirstie had ended up on a team full of old duffers and Gunner had done alright on a team with Moody, Saffa, Miss JB and another normal. I put my foot down (or more likely stomped) and Kirstie swapped herself and CJ so CJ was with the duffers and she also moved Ginger on to Gunners team and took Saffa from there. So now my team looks like this:

Me
Kirstie
Saffa
The wee Scottish guy who sits next to Andre
Moon Monkey

We can put up with MM, I plan to give him some hilarious nick name for the bowling scores (not Moon Monkey though, that would be far too obvious) and someone’s got to have him on their team don’t they? CJ however would have been a no no for me, I may have had to excuse myself from the evening and spent it tearing my eyelashes out with tweezers instead.

So teams are picked; 15 of us in all but there are some potential problems on the horizon. Turns out Andre isn’t coming - I know, I know I am as gutted as you are! She said as she can’t bowl, doesn’t drink and probably can’t eat anything on the menu there she’s going to give it a miss. Blimey, I bet she’s a laugh and a half on a night out at the weekend. Miss Jean Brody is another potential bailer as she is ‘maybe seeing my boyfriend’ which just sounds lame. The IT Geek (he of Christmas party fight fame) has dropped out because of relatives arriving and some of the crusties have decided against it.

After my initial panic about teamster CJ she might not even be there as she’s still not back in work. She is now meant to be back in tomorrow and Kirstie reckons she will come as there will be free food and drink on offer but we shall see. There was more over heard phone conversations this morning and the words ‘operation’, ‘rest and recover’ and ‘what do you want me to tell them?’ were heard from Moody. I gauged from what he says Moon Monkey doesn’t even know what she’s off for which is odd, you’d think the head of department would know their staff’s whereabouts. Ginger reckons CJ’s having a boob job and will turn up with a couple of her own bowling balls tomorrow.

But the biggest blow of all is that Saffa is off sick!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooo! She’s been off since Friday and Kirstie thinks we won’t see her tomorrow either. Chest infection, very sick and ill and unable to come in. So that’s ‘Operation Saffa’s Secret’s Revealed’ scuppered! Damn and blast and buggeration. Everyone keep their fingers crossed that she turns up tomorrow dosed up to the eyeballs with Day Nurse and sporting her best bowling glove.

The countdown will begin tomorrow and I shall bring you all the breaking news on the lead up to this much anticipated sporting event as and when it happens.

No comments:

Post a Comment