Come fly with me….or not?

I’m finding it hard to know how to start this blog as I have lots to tell you today and I’m not sure which to begin with. I’ll start with the natural disaster as this is actually unfolding as I type and by the end of the blog I may have some more updates to entertain you with.

As you should be aware by now a volcano has erupted in Iceland and grounded lots of UK and northern European flights. This is bad timing for 3 of our managers as they are all stuck in Uganda and trying to fly back to the UK. One of them was meant to be on an 11.30am flight today which was cancelled and he is now freaking out about getting back. Kirstie is in charge of trying to re-arrange all their travel and she’s enjoying hearing them all spaz out on the end of the phone. It is quite hilarious, they call and she updates us on the latest freak-out or flight she couldn’t get and we all laugh like drains!

So Bog Monkey (have I mentioned Bog Monkey? Sounds like a leprechaun….?) is stuck but not bothered so much as his flight is later in the week, we have yet to hear from Moon Monkey and are assuming he hasn’t looked at the news yet which leaves the Freaker who is so desperate to get out of Uganda he seems to be willing to swim for it. Kirstie told him earlier she can’t get him on a flight to the UK before Tuesday – oh dear, he’s not happy. As good a travel organiser and PA that Kirstie is she’s not a miracle worker and I think told him this in no uncertain terms. Now he wants to fly to Dubai (we think he has a fancy woman out there, he goes there quite a bit) and so she has managed to fly him out there tomorrow. Then he calls back and wants to fly to France from Dubai on the same flight has his ‘friend’. No can do, that flight’s full. Many expletives over email and giggling from Kirstie “he’s freaking out again!” OK another flight from Dubai to France? And so this continues.

Update on Moon Monkey: he is now aware of the volcanic eruption in Iceland and grounding of flights and is trying to get through to Kirstie but can’t as she’s on the phone to Freaker and travel agents.

Why don’t they just go back to the hotel and lie by the pool? The company will pay for it and it’s not like they can go anywhere. Chillax guys, treat it like an impromptu holiday.

This morning I overheard a phone conversation (or one half of it) between Moody and Harley – who is ‘working’ from home today. They were talking about work stuff and then Moody says “yes she’s already rung me to say she is running late” which leads me to believe that they are talking about CJ and Harley has mentioned something. So of course I tune in….I can only hear half of what’s being said but from that I got “what is going on there?” and “we need to keep an eye on that” and “well you and I both know there’s more to it” (or something along those lines) and “well you know, there’s a danger of her health suffering mentally and physically”.

Eh?

So it seems that CJ may be on the verge of a mental breakdown. Must be the journey into work. Or maybe those late starts and lie-ins.

I think maybe it is one of the following:

a) She has some trauma going on her in her personal life we don’t know about that’s having a knock on effect on her work and is stressing her out so she is more stressed here
b) She has taken on too much work and it’s draining her ‘mentally and physically’
c) She is one of those people who isn’t very good at handling stress and being busy and so is always 100 times more stressed here than someone else doing the same job would be.
d) She is leading a double life and is a call girl at night, hence the late starts.
e) She is a lazy fuck who just can’t get out of bed in the morning

Kirstie thinks it’s (e).

When she came in eventually I heard her say to Moody “I was here until 12.30 last night”. What?! Who the hell works until 12.30am?! It’s not like she’s dealing with life and death situations here. If you’re doing hours like that then you’re doing something wrong or making work for yourself unnecessarily. She’ll also get in trouble for it as it reflects badly on Moon Monkey and Harley so they’ll be having words no doubt.

If she does go loop-de-loop or beak down crying into her coco pops one morning then you’ll be the first to know.

The final snippet of news is that Saffa’s flowers have started up again. A nice bunch today that arrived mid-morning much to her embarrassment. She was off work yesterday and no one knew where she was (Harley probably did but he never tells anyone) and today she says she had an asthma attack and didn’t have her puffa with her. I’d like to say she was blatantly lying and instead exhausted from a long day and night of passion with Blondie but she actually looked like hell today and her voice sounds like sandpaper so she’s probably telling the truth.

I sent Kirstie over in full detective role and she came back info-less. I was very disappointed. Although I liked her tactics, she said to Saffa “Can I swap my husband for your wife as he never sends me flowers?!” Some laughing from Saffa and “OK sure!” “Are you sure because you haven’t lived with him yet? Why is it boys are so rubbish at sending flowers, girls seem so much better at this kind of thing, I need to speak to your wife!” But Saffa wasn’t giving anything away. Kirstie did admit something to me at lunch though (“I haven’t told anyone I did that!”). When a flower delivery came a few months back it happened very late in the day and Kirstie was the only person in the office so she showed the delivery man where Saffa sat. When he had gone she had a nose and there was a card in there…..yep she had a peek! Hell, I would have done the same! She said the card was addressed to what must be some South African pet name for Saffa and then signed from another pet name but it just didn’t sound like something you’d get from the old ball and chain. She was suspicious to say the least.

We’ll see if the flowers keep coming.

Moon Monkey has started texting Kirstie on her personal mobile, things are getting desperate. He’ll be flinging his faeces around the cage in a moment. I don’t envy her job today, I think she’ll still be here when I go at 5pm.