Lame!

Don’t worry I haven’t injured myself in a bowling accident just yet, that’s for later. I am referring to the lame-ness of my work colleagues. Someone pointed out to me earlier that I shouldn’t really be surprised and I guess I’m not, maybe disappointed is a better word.

We have now gone from over 20 people to 13 with 12 bowling. With excuses ranging from chest infections to “I forgot” (Harley – LAME!) and then people just not coming because they can’t be arsed. Hello? Free food, drink and entertainment?! Most places I have worked at you’d be trampled to death by the rush for the free bar but not here apparently. They are acting like they’re being forced to go to the dentist or something with all the complaints and whining. “When will it finish?” “How can I get home?” “Oh no I won’t be drinking.”

You’ll also be sad to hear that Saffa is amongst the bailers, she’s still off sick and so won’t be coming bowling, won’t be drinking, won’t be spilling her worldly secretes to me and Kirstie and won’t be disappearing off into the London night to stay with a ‘friend’.

CJ has turned up for work and will be eating but not bowling. I guess if I’d had some kind of operation a few days before I wouldn’t be bowling either but the weird thing is she has booked a hotel near the bowling lanes?! I don’t think she is planning to drink and if she’s recovering from that boob job or whatever it is she had you’d assume she would be on the cola and if she’s going after the food she’ll be done by 8pm so why the hotel room? Donna and I plan to use this to our advantage for a wind up later though. “So is the party carrying on back at your hotel then CJ? You got a mini bar?” Stand back and watch her freak out as her sense of sarcasm and humour fail to engage and she has visions of Gunner jumping up and down on the bed while Kirstie’s being sick in the sink with the night porter banging on the door. Well it could happen?

So that leaves the usual suspects (the normals), Moon Monkey, CJ, Moody (who is REALLY moody today – he has shouted at a lot of people on that phone!), the wee Scottish guy, Miss Jean Brody and a handful of crusties. Whooo. Now that Ginger, Gunner, Kirstie and I have discovered we work with a bunch of boring bastards we are determined to drink and eat and bowl as much as we can and use up the £50 per head allocated to the 20+ original people coming. Kirstie has suggested we start the evening with a Baby Bison shot off the menu (we printed out the cocktail menu at 9.30am this morning) and we plan to carry on as we have started! Bring on the crippling hang over and 8.30am start for work followed by the 10am team meeting!

I promise to do my best to gather as much gossip, information and comedy anecdotes tonight as I can. I also promise to try and remember all of it in the morning so I can relay it to you.

Let the games commence!!