Thursdays officially suck balls this week. That is official as I just made it so. Today is the day everyone wants a piece of Nancy and they want it NOW. I seem to have at least 1 day a week like this at the moment which in my view is just not on. Bring back hanging! That’s what I say. Not sure if it would help my situation but lets that that chance!
So far today:
I have had approximately 47 visits to my desk from Moody
He has left approximately 3 bear hairs on my desk/print outs/Satsuma
A man in Ghana was very rude to me on email
I was equally rude to the Ghana man back
The Ghana man has stopped emailing me now
Kirstie and I attempted the 2 minute silence at 11am unlike 75% of the office
The Temp tried to talk to me during the silence and was met by a hand in her face
After her initial shock/confusion at my reaction she cottoned on and joined in and afterwards apologised
Harley called me over to his desk much in the way a headmaster would do to a naught school child
I chose to make him wait 5 minutes before responding
I spent my ENTIRE lunch break listening to The Temps ideas for her interview tomorrow
I made sure I gave her as much advice as I could so she gets the job and therefore moves desks
Kirstie made me a lovely hat with my name on it out of cardboard
People admired my hat and were most probably secretly jealous
Kirstie took a photo on my phone of me in aforementioned hat
I would upload this photo if I knew how to get pictures off of my phone and on to the computer
I ate 4 chocolate digestive biscuits in order to quell the stress levels that built to dangerously high levels between the hours of 2.30pm and 3.45pm
The office got very dark, very light and then very dark again
I wore my hat to go and speak to Harley and he said it was very fetching
I had another chocolate digestive biscuit for extra safety precautions
I acquired further safety precautions in the way of another box of condoms
I told Kirstie that while I appreciated her concern for my sexual health the joke is now wearing a bit thin
Kirstie apologised and then threw another box of condoms at me
I opened up my own sexual advice clinic for Thursday lunch times down by the guillotine and binding machine
Reading that back it sounds like some kind of S&M club which I can assure you it is not
In fact it doesn’t exist at all I made the clinic idea up
Thankfully tomorrow is a flexi day pour moi (I’m getting used to these now!) and so I am safe in the knowledge that in 31 minutes time this poop-bag of a work day will be over and I won’t have to pick another beard hair off my desk, receive international offensive emails or give advice on how to demonstrate communication skills in an interview until Monday. And that is 3 whole days away. That makes me very happy.
Enjoy your weekends people x
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