OMG

Yesterday I promised you more on Temp-Gate and the hi-larious emails that were going to and forth between my good self and Kristie. I always keep a promise so here are the goods (although hi-larious may be over egging the pudding some what…)

Just to set the scene, if you cast your mind back to yesterdays rant-o-rama we had just sat through the Sugar Land experience with both Temp 1 & 2 (aka Ms Rigsby) vocalising their love of gingerbread houses and tarmac roads made of liquorice. Temp 1 had then exclaimed:

“See, you thought I was crazy!”

And I had responded:

“Yes and now we think you are both crazy – it’s not unusual in this department to have more than one crazy person.”

Which brings us up to date and to this…


From: Kirstie
Sent: 17 November 2010 10:24
To: Nancy
Subject: WTF

I have never been so sick of the words ‘exciting’ and ‘weird’ … really, are there no other words?!!


From: Nancy
Sent: 17 November 2010 10:31
To: Kirstie
Subject: RE: WTF

Don’t forget ‘sweet’ and the emphasis on ‘sooooooooo’ before everything…

“It was soooooooo exciting!”
“That is sooooooooooo sweet!”
“You are sooooooooo weird!”

Her total astonishment at the most mundane things is also is odd, e.g. the use of ‘hokey cokey’ instead of ‘pokey’, the fact we have mushy peas, the weather, having an hours lunch break. OK, I get it, it’s different from Australia but why does she react like I have just told her that here we think the moon is made of cheese and children are expected to work in the factories from the age of 3?

Sorry I am ranting now. I will stop.


From: Kirstie
Sent: 17 November 2010 10:56
To: Nancy
Subject: RE: WTF

Ah … forgot about the ‘sooooooo’ haven’t picked up on the sweet, but thanks, I probably will now!

Yes, the astonishment, it’s not like Australia is THAT different, okay I haven’t lived there for a while but unless it’s changed beyond all recognition or she’s been living under a rock the surprise is all a cry for attention.

You’re allowed to rant :)


From: Nancy
Sent: 17 November 2010 12:22
To: Kirstie
Subject: RE: WTF

And the reason no one was interested when she talked about Sugar Land was because we were trying to ignore her, whereas I would totally humour Ms Rigsby as she is not an annoying freak….


From: Kirstie
Sent: 17 November 2010 12:25
To: Nancy
Subject: RE: WTF

Think that we should keep them apart as much as possible so the annoying doesn’t rub off onto Ms Rigsby


From: Nancy
Sent: 17 November 2010 12:28
To: Kirstie
Subject: RE: WTF

Good point – can you imagine 2 of them in the office?! JTFC it would be unbearable.


From: Kirstie
Sent: 17 November 2010 12:33
To: Nancy
Subject: RE: WTF

Yeah, I can and it isn’t pretty. Stuff of nightmares.


However, we may be too late to stop that freight train. Ms Rigsby has been chatting to Temp at every available opportunity and it’s not all about work. Then at lunch time I caught them eating together in the kitchen. This must be stopped. Firstly to save the poor impressionable, incredibly English Ms Rigsby and her young mind and secondly to save everyone else’s sanity. I shudder at the thought of more excitable young 20 something females running around the office exclaiming that everything is AMAZING and SOOOOO COOL! Just now Kirstie mentioned the Christmas market that will be here on the 5th and I accidentally thought aloud as to whether they will have reindeer again (and the thimbles of mulled wine – very stingy with the wine) and Temp almost blew an excitement gasket.

“OH…(breath)….MY…(breath)…GOD! REINDEER?! HERE!??!?!?!?! (It honestly warrants that much punctuation) THAT IS SOOOOO COOL!! AMAAAAZING!”

Kirstie leaned in with “Er you need to calm down now, bring it down a notch” because frankly she was starting to scare us.

Now try to imagine that times 2. Double the excitement, double the annoying screeching, everything in stereo. And if that wasn’t bad enough they’d probably wind each other up so much into a frenzy that one of them would end up wetting their pants or fainting. Although at least they’d be a lot quieter unconscious.