Shouting about Chinese whispers

This afternoon I have a headache delivered straight from the depths of Beelzebub’s handbag so it’s going to be a quickie. Kirstie has given me some Neurofen tension headache tablets that seem to be kicking in but the Crapbags system is counteracting all of the good work Neurofen is doing…I’m in a losing battle I think. I’ve got another new title to add to my cap which is ‘Master Data Manager’…I HAVE THE POWEEEERRRRR! As He-Man once cried (get down Battle Cat – not on my shiny new chest plate…). But as we all well know with great power comes great responsibility, or in this case just a shit load more work. Great, just what I needed. No really, I didn’t have enough to do in the first place, I was merely here sat twiddling my thumbs, making paper clip chains and drawing pretty things on post-it notes, however you may have mistaken the piles of paperwork, cursing at my computer and the enormous to do list sitting to my left as dossing.

In usual fashion of this place this esteemed title was granted to me without my knowledge / anyone asking if I might be interested / considering I might have enough to do already and I found out about it through an email informing me I know have access to the MDM mail box. Do I? How nice. What’s that for then? Oh no, look here’s an email about a meeting I wasn’t invited to (for once) where they decided I’d do the work. Right then.

I shouted at The Temp earlier as well. OK so ‘shout’ is a bit of a strong word but I definitely raised my voice and I definitely snapped. It ended up being aimed at Kirstie as well because we were back to Chinese fucking whispers again with me in the middle. I can’t even remember what was said…oh that was it, Kirstie made a comment (at this point we weren’t even involving The Temp in the conversation) about her brother having a date and then Temp did her usual “What?!” and said she thought Kirstie had said she had a date – but she said it at the volume of a small frightened child so the Kirstie thought she said something all together different at which point I said:

“JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU BOTH SPEAK UP AS I AM FED UP OF SPEAKING CHINESE WHISPERS HERE AND TRANSLATING FOR YOU BOTH!”

Ahem. The Temp laughed, Kirstie looked slightly taken aback as she was able to read the frustration and rage in my face better than Temp (she’ll slip up on that soon enough…) and then puzzled and I had to explain what they had both just done. When I’d calmed down slightly I emailed Kirstie to apologise explaining the outburst wasn’t directed at her but that Temp was getting on my nerves this week with the whole 50 questions, mumbling away and not shutting up. When I read it back I sounded like a right old bitch so I finished the email up with “I’m being a bitch aren’t I?” Kirstie came back with “Not really”. She seems to whole heartedly agree and added she had had a word last week about her slouching and sitting with her hand in her head which doesn’t give a good impression.

Nancy immediately sits up in chair….

Temp has actually been a lot quieter this afternoon. Hang on, I just realised that’s because she hasn’t been sat at her desk – that’ll be why then.

In other news the packets of condoms in my desk draw are reaching a ridiculous high. I may have to start returning them to the stationary cupboard as I’m sure there are other people in this office who could put them to better use than me. Or perhaps they’d make good Christmas presents? “Merry Christmas Gran!” No? I’ll stick to the ginger chocolates then.