What a week, what a week. It’s been long and frustrating but there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is in the form of 16 days (yes 16 – count them people) off of work!! Hurrah! Annual leave + bank holidays + Royal wedding = much time off for Nancy!
As from 5pm today I am officially outta here!
For not the first time I will be glad to see the back of this place, it’s not been the best week and the eejits here are driving me nuts. No one seems to have logged into any common sense this week and stupid questions are the theme of every day. Everything working arse about face and no one really knowing what’s going on.
Pretty normal then.
I’ve been trying to help out this poor new woman in one of the projects – Curly (it’s a play on her name and her hair…that sounds a little wrong…anyway…) as she hasn’t been given CrapBags access yet. She started 2 weeks ago and was told “you won’t get any training do the on-line stuff and then you’re on your own.” Brilliant. Welcome to our company we promise we do care about our staff but not enough to actually train you up properly or give you the tools to do this yourself.
So Curly has obediently done the on-line training and then called me. She needs help with doing some requisitions on the system. She’s nervous about it, 1st time, CrapBags virgin and so needs some hand holding – fair do’s really. So me and the heavy breathing temp shadow head down to see her. Turns out she doesn’t even have access to the system yet. She’s been here 1 ½ weeks and nothing. It was requested last Tuesday. So now she has a pile of requisitions building up on her desk and her line manager is telling everyone with a problem or question on CrapBags to ask Curly for help. The poor woman is freaking out as she doesn’t know how to even log on yet.
You see if you want access to the holy grail of CB you need to go through a ‘system’. You apply in triplicate then they assess your application and 50 people have to tick a box, sign it, then its sent to pixies in Sherwood Forest to sprinkle magic dust on it, sent back here, shredded in case anyone might need it, started all over again and then stamped, sealed and signed. At this point access is given. Apparently this process can take a long time. It took us 3 weeks to get Shadow her access, Ms Rigsby took a month. I know for a fact it takes 2 minutes to set up. 2 minutes.
This place is a complete joke. Works in an arse about face way. Went round to bollock the CB layabouts and none of them were there. So sent an angry email. 2 days late they finally give Curly access and she is on flexi and as of 5pm today I am on holiday. Hurrah. Well done. Slow hand clap for you CB people.
What makes it even more infuriating is that in the week Gunner was processing an order to pay a certain company that shall remain nameless but lets just say you have heard of them and they are the geniuses who gave us CrapBags. It had all the consultants rates on it (i.e. the CB layabouts) we are paying a grand a day for some of those useless tossers!! One guy is £1,660 PER DAY!!! Per day! I know the consultants themselves don’t see the whole amount but I’d imagine it’s a fair chunk. Fucking hell– pay me £500 a day and I’ll do their job for you! They never do anything anyway, they just sit in meetings procrastinating all day – I can do that!!
Gunner is fuming, he just keeps muttering “a grand a day!” all the time.
As a complete role reversal I just found out that Ms Rigsby who works her arse off everyday and is here from 9am to 6.30pm most days is paid £7.50 an hour before tax.
What is the world coming to?
End of rant.
On a more positive note Andre made a cake yesterday in the shape of a castle. As one does. It’s for the War of the Roses apparently. She’s as nutty as a fruitcake but she makes a damn fine fruitcake. I missed the actual castle as I was in a flippin meeting and it had been cut up by the time I got out! Only one turret remaining. She says she has a photo so I am demanding to see it. Apparently it was very impressive. Impressive turrets. Fnar fnar.
I am drained, I am done, I am spent, I am all ranted out. Time for me to go sit in a Grecian bar and sip cocktails in the sunshine. I hope you survive a blog-free 16 days without me, I’m sure you will. You have 4 bank holidays and a Royal wedding to keep you occupied.
Until May…
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