Late into work today, 10.30am. Lets just say that for reasons beyond my control I didn’t make it in for 8.30am and I wasn’t exactly rushing for the bus either. I have of course been busying myself with work since then, trying to catch up, planning to work until at least 5.05pm and working through lunch. Of course.
The “Very important meeting for lots of people. Lunch for 40” is still going on today. Who knows they might have been there all night.
It’s unlikely any of us will actually find out what the meeting agenda is, who all those people eating sandwiches at lunch were and if it will impact on us until it already has. I always find it amazing how an international company like this can be so shat at communicating with people. The current boss, Moon Monkey seems to work on a ‘need to know’ basis with staff and it seems even the ladies on reception or the DHL man know about things that happen before we do.
This guy is an odd bod. He came into the department a couple of months ago all shiny and new and fresh from a big sparkly corporate company. We had high hopes. Maybe this guy will actually listen to us? Maybe we won’t all be sat here wondering if we’re going to be employed tomorrow. Maybe he won’t have a mental breakdown like the last one. I mean he didn’t have to do much to impress seeing as the previous manager left under a dark cloud of accusations, having managed to start an illicit affair with an employee, let her influence his decisions on everything, eventually lose his mind quite publicly in a team meeting and then be signed off work for ‘stress’ for 2 months before disappearing forever. Just got to turn up and smile really haven’t you?
So first impressions were – big face. Massive. Could land a small aircraft on his chin. So the names “Big Chin” and “Moon Face” were born. Also looks a bit like a badger. Not sure how old – maybe in his 50’s (it was discovered at the work Xmas party he is in fact 39 – there were a lot of open mouthed expressions and I think someone said “seriously?”) and no wedding band so might not be married (now we know he is and has an offspring). Not big on the “good mornings” as he enters the office but seemed nice enough. We even had a team meeting where he promised that everything would be out in the open and everyone would be kept informed unlike the old days – hurrah!
But moving on a matter of months and it seems that was actually a big pile of old bollocks. He doesn’t talk to anyone less than 2 scales below his pay packet and has turned out to be the twat we hoped he wouldn’t be. Everything by the book, corporate smarm, employing freaks like CJ, patronising comments - “good afternoon” as you walk in 5 minutes late – and wants everything done now, now, now! No, hang on I’ve changed my mind and want this instead now, now, now! So Moon Face has now moved on to Moon Monkey. And that wasn’t even us – the ladies on reception came up with that one and even made a picture – see above, good isn’t it?
Seems he is spreading the love wherever he goes.
Last night he was flying out to another one of our offices. Poor old Kirstie (funny how I always say “poor old…” first when I talk about her, the girl is very put upon in this place and not actually that old) had to organise all his travel arrangements and had booked a cab for 4.30pm. He moved it to 5pm. 5pm came and went and no sign of Moon Monkey. Kirstie found him in a meeting room and dragged him out (she can be quite scary) and so at about 5.30pm he left the office to get a 7.20pm flight.
This morning Kirstie opens up her email to find one from Moon Monkey:
“Dear Kirstie
Last night I had to stop the cab driver at Baron’s Court tube station and get public transport because I was scared for my life. The man drove like a lunatic and I would like you to call the cab company to complain and not book with that driver again.
Regards
Moon Monkey”
Apparently he got to Baron’s Court at about 6pm to get on the tube to Heathrow. Would have been a bit tight timing wise I’d imagine. Needless to say there was a distinct lack of sympathy in the office this morning. Maybe if he missed it he could call for a private jet – he’s got the landing strip just under his bottom lip after all.
It’s unlikely any of us will actually find out what the meeting agenda is, who all those people eating sandwiches at lunch were and if it will impact on us until it already has. I always find it amazing how an international company like this can be so shat at communicating with people. The current boss, Moon Monkey seems to work on a ‘need to know’ basis with staff and it seems even the ladies on reception or the DHL man know about things that happen before we do.
This guy is an odd bod. He came into the department a couple of months ago all shiny and new and fresh from a big sparkly corporate company. We had high hopes. Maybe this guy will actually listen to us? Maybe we won’t all be sat here wondering if we’re going to be employed tomorrow. Maybe he won’t have a mental breakdown like the last one. I mean he didn’t have to do much to impress seeing as the previous manager left under a dark cloud of accusations, having managed to start an illicit affair with an employee, let her influence his decisions on everything, eventually lose his mind quite publicly in a team meeting and then be signed off work for ‘stress’ for 2 months before disappearing forever. Just got to turn up and smile really haven’t you?
So first impressions were – big face. Massive. Could land a small aircraft on his chin. So the names “Big Chin” and “Moon Face” were born. Also looks a bit like a badger. Not sure how old – maybe in his 50’s (it was discovered at the work Xmas party he is in fact 39 – there were a lot of open mouthed expressions and I think someone said “seriously?”) and no wedding band so might not be married (now we know he is and has an offspring). Not big on the “good mornings” as he enters the office but seemed nice enough. We even had a team meeting where he promised that everything would be out in the open and everyone would be kept informed unlike the old days – hurrah!
But moving on a matter of months and it seems that was actually a big pile of old bollocks. He doesn’t talk to anyone less than 2 scales below his pay packet and has turned out to be the twat we hoped he wouldn’t be. Everything by the book, corporate smarm, employing freaks like CJ, patronising comments - “good afternoon” as you walk in 5 minutes late – and wants everything done now, now, now! No, hang on I’ve changed my mind and want this instead now, now, now! So Moon Face has now moved on to Moon Monkey. And that wasn’t even us – the ladies on reception came up with that one and even made a picture – see above, good isn’t it?
Seems he is spreading the love wherever he goes.
Last night he was flying out to another one of our offices. Poor old Kirstie (funny how I always say “poor old…” first when I talk about her, the girl is very put upon in this place and not actually that old) had to organise all his travel arrangements and had booked a cab for 4.30pm. He moved it to 5pm. 5pm came and went and no sign of Moon Monkey. Kirstie found him in a meeting room and dragged him out (she can be quite scary) and so at about 5.30pm he left the office to get a 7.20pm flight.
This morning Kirstie opens up her email to find one from Moon Monkey:
“Dear Kirstie
Last night I had to stop the cab driver at Baron’s Court tube station and get public transport because I was scared for my life. The man drove like a lunatic and I would like you to call the cab company to complain and not book with that driver again.
Regards
Moon Monkey”
Apparently he got to Baron’s Court at about 6pm to get on the tube to Heathrow. Would have been a bit tight timing wise I’d imagine. Needless to say there was a distinct lack of sympathy in the office this morning. Maybe if he missed it he could call for a private jet – he’s got the landing strip just under his bottom lip after all.
Just realised how cack that picture has made the post but there is nothing I can do about it. The ladies on reception have their talents but photoshop is clearly not one of them.
ReplyDeleteDown with Moon Monkey - up with Kirstie!
ReplyDelete